probably
won't get around to updating this page much, nor often enough.,. think
it will be bursts.
calendar girl dates --wrapped in useless information:
argh, june20_05 i sent alex a sexy postcard, crappy internet won;t let me save it .. cheapskates! it was sexy --, chained wrist holding a rose up to the moon! i think alex will like it!? must remind alex to stay over and come out with me june25_05. play night for beginners at www.hushnow.com.au
must ask alex if he wants lasagne for dinner or curried fish? email response
This is Monkey! She was more "blue" than usual on the weekend, she is a lot better now. I love her ... so much!
this is alex
burns, he is *so* hot! he makes me happy! i think atm he is happy too.
he's very sexy and silly.! he is also deep and kind and kinky. i think
he knows i like him.
june 19_05.
here is a nice foto of brown hens, alex came to help me at the farm, he
helped collect the eggs, wash em and pack em. after we finished our chores
we wished on a beautiful and fleeting moon.
june 19_05
Alex likes chickens.. they are his friends!!! I have a chicken film that excites alex.
Can't wait
to see Alex in this PVC boilersuit. He's so *hot*...
Hmmm even
Monkey looks like she could eat this foto!
Beter still lick the real alex when he;s wearing it!!june 22_05.
june28_05
i am feeling so shell shocked and my spirit is black and blue. i am not sure if talking with alex, helps me. i realised that what i see in him, is a shared sadness, and an overwhelming sense that no matter what we "do" isn't enuff. more than anything i know how this feels. it was confrontng to acknowledge that his critical father sent me scurrying back to days when i would "hide from punishment", metered out by a cruel man, one that could never acknowledge his own pain and fears. it's not a legacy one should carry forward. nor legitmate with excuses or cowardly self reflection. my fear is that whatever love and caring i offer won't be enough... i don't simply cry for myself, but then that is also a lie as i try to work on my own self-integration. perhaps i am not strong enough. i want alex to be bold to take a risk with me,,. for me.